Отключить рекламу[Intro]
Am F G
Am G F
Am G F
[Verse 1]
Am GI can beat every level in Mario
FI can make you scrambled eggs
Am GI can quote every line in Jumanji
FI can open the fridge with my legs
Am GI know how to Go to the grocery store
FWithout using GPS
Am GI learned how to juggle on YouTube
F Dm7 Dm7 Dm7But there's something I gotta get off my chest
[Pre-Chorus]
FM7
I don’t know how to Do my taxes
GI stash my cash in a mattress
AmDon't know how to change a tire
AmThat's why I take the bus
FM7
I don’t know how to use a drill
GI gotta ask my neighbor Phil
AmTo help me hang a picture
Am G Am'Cause I'm stupid and I suck
[Chorus]
FM7 G
I could learn all of these skills
C Em AmBut I doubt I ever will
FMy dad is ashamed of me
Em Dm C G Am G F Am G F'cause I just turned 33
[Verse 2]
Am GI can nap pretty much whenever
F GI can cook a burger well-done
Am GI can make my eyes roll to the back of my head
F AmI can make my tongue look like a hot dog bun
Am7 GI know how to put two holes in an apple
FM7
And smoke it like a bong
Am GI can chug a can of Sprite in a minute
F Dm Dm7 Dm7And then carve that can into a bong
FM7
But I can't spell "restaurant"
GI know it starts with R
AmAnd I know it ends with T
AmThe middle is a mystery
FM7
I don't know how to make a pasta sauce
GI mostly use ketchup
AmIt's still tomato-based
Am G AmGet off my friggin' case
[Chorus]
FM7 G
I could learn all of this shit
Em AmBut every time I try, I quit
FMy mom is ashamed of me
Em Dm C G Am F G’cause I just turned 33
[Bridge]
Dm GWhen Albert Einstein was 26
C G AmHe discovered relativity
F GAnd when I was 26, I chugged some
C G AmVodka through my butt at a party
Dm GWhen Greta Thunberg was 17
C G AmShe was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize
F GWhen I was 17, I got
C G AmShot in the dick playing paintball
Dm GWhen Michael Jordan was 24
C CM7 AmHe won the MVP award
F G C CM7 AmAnd when I was 24, I took mushroo-o-o-o-oooms
Dm GWhen Oprah Winfrey was 32
C CM7 AmShe changed television forever
F G Am Am AmWhen I was 32 I asked my father for a hundred dollars
And he said
Dm GNo-ohohooooo
AmNot again, not-a not again, not again
Dm GNooo hohoho hoo
AmNot again, not-a not again, not again
Dm G Am G C
F G Am C G Am
Am F GI, I suck
Am F GI, I suck (I suck at stuff)
Am F GI, I suck (I suck at stuff)
Am GI, I suck (I fucking suck)
Am F G C B5I suck, I suck, I suck at stuff
Am F G C B5I suck, I suck, at stuff
Am F G C B5I suck, I suck, I suck at stuff (I suck, I suck, I suck)
Am F GI suck, I suck (I fucking suck, I suck)
[Chorus]
F GI could learn all of these skills (I fucking suck so much)
C AmBut I doubt I ever will (I fucking suck)
FMy uncle’s ashamed of me
F Dm C G Am'cause I just turned thirty three
G G AmAnd I suck
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