Remove AdsVerse 1:
AJesus was a Jewish philosopher
EHad a lot of nice ideas
F#mAbout our existential fears
AMuch admired by his peers
D E F#m C#mShort and Jewish and quite political
D E F#mOften hesitant and very analytical
A D E APraise be to Jesus
A D E F#mPraise be to Woody Allen Jesus
D A EWoody Allen Jesus!
Verse 2:
AJesus was a great entertainer
EDoing cool tricks all of the time
F#mTurning water into wine
C#mMaking stormy weather fine
D E F#m C#mEven now his stunts confound us
D E F#mKinda did what Derren Brown does
A D E APraise be to Jesus
A D E F#mPraise be to Magic Woody Allen Jesus
D A FMagic Woody Allen Jesus!
Verse 3 (to A#):
A#Jesus died but then came back to life
FSo the Holy Bible said
GmKinda like in Dawn of the Dead
DmLike a movie by Simon Pegg
D# F GmTry that these days, you'd have trouble
D# F GmAll of the geeks would try to smack you with a shovel
A# D# F A#Praise be to Jesus
A# D# F GmPraise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Jesus
D# A# FMagic Woody Allen Zombie Jesus!
Verse 4:
A#Jesus ascended into Heaven
FHe was an incredible guy
GmDisappeared right into the sky
DmNot often find fellas that fly
D# F GmOnly once did he use this ability
D# F GmWith great power comes great responsibility
A# D# F A#Praise be to Jesus
A# D# F GmPraise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superhero Jesus
D# A# F#Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superman Jesus!
Verse 5 (to B):
BJesus' mother gave birth to him
F#Without having sex with a dude
G#mNo, she would never be that rude
D#mNever even be nude with a dude
E F# G#mBreeding without the opposite gender is
E F# G#mCommonly known as parthenogenesis
C#mOther animals that don't need males
F#Include a lot of lizards and various snails
E F# BPraise be to Jesus
B E F# G#mPraise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superhero Komodo Dragon Jesus
EJesus!
G#mJesus can communicate with the deceased
F#Like Psychic Sally (without the earpiece)
EJesus lives forever, which is pretty odd
G#m F#m (to C)But not as odd as his fetish for drinking blood
AmJesus is in more than one place at a time
CLike an electron or Schrödinger's feline
FJesus pulled off that water walking miracle
CHe was as handy as an amphibious vehicle
Am G FJesus had long hair, bare feet, and a beard
Look I'm not saying I'm Jesus
Dm EmNo, I'm not saying that I Am Jesus
F GI'm not saying that I Am Jesus
A (to D)I AM Jesus!
D G A DPraise be to Jesus
D G APraise be to Woody Allen Jesus
Bm F#m GWoody Allen Jesus!
D G APraise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superhero Komodo Dragon
DTelepathic Vampire Quantum Hovercraft *Me* Jesus!
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